


Gaygents of Mayhem

by EldritchSandwich



Category: Agents of Mayhem (Video Game)
Genre: F/F, Random & Short, Sexy Sandwich, and i apologize, the tags on this are going to get really ridiculous really fast
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-06-01 02:34:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15133190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EldritchSandwich/pseuds/EldritchSandwich
Summary: A series of short, unconnected smut snippets starring randomly-selected pairings. Likely to grow in time. May God have mercy on my soul.





	1. Braddock/Fortune

**Author's Note:**

> As the description says, the pairings in these stories were determined randomly from a pool of all 66 possible femslash pairings involving the female field agents, Persephone, Friday, Gremlin, and Carol from HR.
> 
> If you want to complain about how a pairing doesn't make sense, you've come to the wrong place, because chances are I already know that.
> 
> If you want to request a particular pairing...well, I guess I'll consider it, but I'm only doing one chapter per pairing and this ungodly experiment ends if I ever managed to do all 66.
> 
> Okay? Okay.

Janel Braddock leaned over her bunk, elbows digging into the mattress with a scowl on her face. "This is bullshit."

"Now now, chica, nobody likes a sore loser," Fortune purred as she stepped up behind her, lubed fingers stroking the thick purple plastic cock dangling between her legs. Braddock huffed.

"Sore loser my ass," she grumbled, and Fortune chuckled.

"The bet was for pussy, but if you want..."

"I still think you cheated."

"How do you cheat in a marksmanship contest? You're just angry that I won. That some self-taught pirate made a big tough marine her little bitch..."

Braddock sucked in a breath when that last word was accompanied by the head of the strap-on rubbing between her lips. "Look, if you're gonna do it, just do it!"

"I don't know, it doesn't sound like you want me to," Fortune teased as the hard shaft rubbed between Braddock's lips, then down over her clit, slow and confident like she'd used one hundreds of times. "It must be hard being such a top and suddenly having to bend over and spread those big muscly thighs for a little thing like me, eh?"

Braddock thrust her hips back weakly, teeth gritted, grinding her clit against the shaft of the dildo even more but unable to find relief. "Just fucking do it!"

"Do what? This?"

Braddock groaned as half of the fake cock slid inside her, pushing back her hips to take more...just because she was impatient to get this over with, she told herself. But then, as Fortune slid back and pumped in deeper and another groan escaped her lips, Braddock chastised herself; there was no point in not enjoying it, especially since for all her teasing Fortune seemed to be dedicated to giving it her all.

And fuck, was she giving it her all!

"Oh, fuck, yes," Braddock grunted as Fortune began to establish a rhythm, stretching her around the fake cock. Fortune's dig wasn't entirely wrong; Braddock was much more used to being on the other side of the strap-on, but being on the receiving end for once was having a bigger and better effect than she'd thought it would...maybe she should convince Friday to wear the strap every once in a while.

That thought, her prim and proper girlfriend bending her over and pounding her from behind, merged with Fortune's deep strokes and her hands kneading her muscular ass and the grinding of the rough mattress against her nipples to bring on a shivering, body-rocking orgasm, a moan of satisfaction wrenched out from between her clenched teeth. When her body relaxed Fortune leaned down with a chuckle, running her hands teasingly up Braddock's flanks. "See? I told you I had good aim..."

As Fortune's hips started to move again, Braddock buried her face in the bed to muffle another moan. Apparently when Fortune had said 'winner fucks the loser until she comes,' what she'd meant was until the _winner_ comes, meaning Fortune was going to keep pounding her until the mouthy pirate was satisfied. Braddock tried to be mad about that little glossed-over detail, but it just wasn't coming.

Unlike...well, you know.


	2. Lazarus/Gremlin

"Okay, so...do you wanna...take your clothes off, or oh okay wow!" Gremlin tried to avert her eyes, but not before confirming that while the metallic, scaly growths did cover more or less all of Lazarus' body, that didn't include her personal bits. As said reanimated nano-cyborg assassin made herself comfortable on the work table in the back room of Gremlin's workshop with no apparent trace of self-consciousness, Gremlin shook her head and stepped closer. "So...are you sure you want me to be the one to do this? I mean, Rama's a real doctor, maybe she—"

"I am not worried about the biological parts of my body," Lazarus interrupted. "They are the same as yours. I wish to know more about the nanites, and that kind of technology is your specialty."

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I'd definitely love to figure out what's up with your nanobots," Gremlin said, even as she couldn't help thinking that certain 'biological parts' of Lazarus' body weren't, in fact, the same as hers, but were probably a full cup size bigger. She shook her head. When she reached up and gingerly brushed her fingers over the techno-organic band running along Lazarus' shoulder, she pulled back when the resurrected field agent flinched. "Sorry! Did that hurt?"

Lazarus shook her head. "No. It was...merely surprising. I...have not been touched often since my return."

"Well I can try to keep it to a minimum so—"

"No," Lazarus said more forcefully than Gremlin expected. Her lips pursed and her eyes cut away. "I...like being touched."

Gremlin blinked. "Oh. Okay then."

Gremlin's hands went back to work, running over the metallic growths all over Lazarus' arms and back, paying specific attention to the gill-like slits on her back where her weaponized nanites originated. As Gremlin surveyed the extent of the changes, she couldn't help being overwhelmed by the alienness of it all; soon, scientific probing had turned to idle stroking. Lazarus turned her head. "Is something wrong?"

Gremlin shook her head. "Sorry. I just...I can't help thinking about how close we came to losing you."

"Were you and I close? Before?"

Gremlin shook her head again. "I mean...we knew each other. You were mostly friends with Mixer and Hardtack." Lazarus frowned, and Gremlin tilted her head. "What's wrong?"

"I had a question about myself, and I would prefer to ask a woman."

"Well, go ahead. We might not have been best friends or anything, but I'll do my best!"

Lazarus nodded. "Do you know if I was sexually attracted to women?"

Gremlin's eyes went wide, her hands instinctively dropping to her sides. "Whoa, what? I mean—"

"I have noticed myself becoming distracted. By Fortune's buttocks when she bends over, and by the way Joule's nipples are sometimes visible through her shirts. Do you know if I was attracted to them before?"

It was a good thing Gremlin's cheeks were so dark, otherwise they would have been beet red. "I don't...I mean, er...I really don't know sorry!"

Lazarus tilted her head. "Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No! Nope, of course not, don't worry about it! I'm just...I guess I didn't think about whether you were still...you know...whether you still thought about that stuff..." Gremlin bit her lip. "So it still feels, you know...good? Getting touched?"

Lazarus frowned. "I am not sure. I tried to masturbate once, but it led to unpleasant electrical feedback from my nanites. Another person's touch might feel better." Her eyes locked with Gremlin's. "I did enjoy having you touch me..."

Gremlin's face got even hotter. "Oh. That's...good." She was finding it hard not to think about the strange heat and cold and tingle of Lazarus' skin, and that got even harder as Lazarus stood up from the table, revealing the entirety of her sleek, naked body to Gremlin's eyes. Gremlin licked her lips. "Um...do you want me to...continue the examination?"

Lazarus raised her arms over her head, which just made her pert breasts and smooth mons stand out all the more. "You may examine me however you like..."

Gremlin swallowed hard, shaking hands rising to stroke Lazarus' flanks, fingers flowing over the alternating bands of metal and flesh. "Are, um, are all your nerves still working?" Her hands brushed the undersides of Lazarus' breasts, and in answer Lazarus sucked in a shuddering breath. "Does that still feel good? No negative feedback?" Gremlin asked, half-academic and half-teasing. Lazarus shook her head and wrapped her fingers around Gremlin's wrist, urging her hand down. Gremlin licked her lips as her fingers caressed Lazarus' smooth stomach, down her bare belly, over the exposed, slick pink skin of her mound...

"Mmmph!" Lazarus' hips bucked, any fear that Gremlin might be hurting her undone by the grip on her wrist grinding her palm harder against Lazarus' clit. Gremlin was breathing harder, shivering with anticipation as her fingers slid down to find Lazarus' neat, understated slit. She licked her lips.

"You, um...you still seem to be capable of producing adequate um....lubrication..." Lazarus didn't respond, her eyes rolling back in her head and her grip on Gremlin's wrist only tightening. When her fingertip slid inside, Gremlin couldn't stop a gasp; Lazarus' skin was such a strange patchwork of warm and cold spots, but the inside of her sex was blazing hot. Before she could think about it she was working her finger in and out, Lazarus mewling in her ear and pressing those perky breasts against her as her hips ground in circles. "Are you sure this is okay?" Gremlin asked. "No feedback?"

"No, please," Lazarus whimpered in her ear, the want in her voice so unlike the stoic agent that Gremlin began to notice the effect it was having on her own...wellbeing. "Please, it feels so good..."

Gremlin took a deep breath and plunged forward, wriggling her finger in deeper and curling it upward. Lazarus moaned into her shoulder, hips bucking wildly, the wet heat around Gremlin's finger bearing down harder with each thrust until—

"Aaaah!" Lazarus collapsed forward, Gremlin completely unable to stop the taller woman's weight from sending them both crashing to the floor. Even as they fell she could feel Lazarus' warm juices oozing out around her fingers, proof that however much she might have changed she was still very human indeed. As Lazarus pushed up onto her arms, Gremlin was overcome by scientific curiosity and raised her soaked fingers to her lips; the taste of the honey on them was a little metallic, but very, very human.

"Thank you," Lazarus whispered breathlessly, her lips an inch from Gremlin's. Gremlin smiled cheerily.

"Hey, it's my job, right? You need to do an experiment, I'm your girl."

As Lazarus leaned in for a kiss and a surprised moan rose in her throat, Gremlin realized that Lazarus wasn't the only one who was interested in doing a little more experimenting...


End file.
